A Rapid Pulse

Your memory’s quite a companion.

With time they’ve turned phantom.

It is a treasonous thought I abandon

those feelings I felt I won’t feel them.

A decade passed since I was betrayed,

emotionally I almost found a grave.

My pulse runs rapid now I’m scathed.

Thinking things where I was enslaved.

I ponder whether I should feel it again.

That feeling rising from beneath skin.

Of how I’ve come to learn such a sin

could be felt by letting trust come in.

I question myself almost every time

when within tenderness my soul finds.

Feelings where sad and joy combine

to wither the pain of what is behind.

I don’t think and it is not your fault,

I’m just saying I should think not

back to the lessons to me you taught.

Because they burden I should stop.

Time has helped me to overcome

whether a foe or friend is the sum

of all the things I’ve said and done

rolling back drapes letting in sun.

The situation has led to a discovery;

the capacity to love’s not above me.

Do it again I might but not so lovely

will the release of my pain’s trust be.

I’m finding myself to be so unreal

and in my own time I don’t sit still

when I allow my heart just to feel

the rapid pulse that I now do reveal.

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